Poliwood Round-UP: Yes, It Can get Worse!

I’m sure you were all glued to your TVs, iPads, and computers on Tuesday anxiously awaiting the results from the showdown in Iowa. Would it be Romney for the win? Would Gingrich have a revival? Would Michelle’s eyes finally pop out of her head? The suspense was maddening *wink*

You no doubt by now know that Romney eeked out a win; although an 8 vote win is hardly anything to pop bottles about—unless your Santorum . What surprises me about this teeny tiny margin between these two “stellar candidates” is that Santorum is bat chit crazy and gets nuttier by the day! Have you heard some of the “ish” that’s come out of this man’s mouth?!? He’s on record for comparing same-sex marriage to marrying an inanimate object (a basketball to be specific), callously chiding the poor black community for being…poor and black, denying women a choice over their bodies, and blaming the sick for their pre-existing conditions. Really, America this is a man that’s climbing in the polls??

The Obama spin-master himself David Axelrod was on record saying that the turnout in Iowa was “unimpressive” and exemplified how “underwhelmed” Republican voters are with the field thus far. He even went so far as to coin Romney as the “The 25% Man” essentially saying that Romney will always be the bridesmaid and never the bride in the eyes of Republicans.

Well, Iowa did succeed at something on Tuesday—returning Bachmann to the House. Yes, I know it seems like only yesterday she and her “straight” husband were stumping all around town while simultaneously running a “correction facility” for gays, but alas her time on the “Who Wants to Be the Most Conservative President?” show has come to an end. Unfortunately, the rest of the #epicfail candidates are still promising to fight the good fight until their last breath or dollar… depends on which one comes first.

So long Iowa, it’s onto New Hampshire where the conservatives “live free or die trying”…we’ll see you on the open road!